How to Explain to Your Kids About Your Divorce
March 25, 2009 | In: Family, Home, Relationship
Explaining about Divorce to Children
Breaking to your children that their parents are getting a divorce can be very painful. But this is a very important task. They will only understand the situation by how how well you are able to explain it to them. And we all know what can happen to kids who take their parents’ divorce real hard.
The first step is to prepare yourself for the conversation. Make sure that you are calm and level headed when you talk to your children. It will only make matters worse if you confront them when you are hysterical and hurt. Your feelings should take a back seat for now. Your priority is to make your children understand the situation.
If it is possible, talk with your spouse. Discuss what you are supposed to tell your kids. They shouldn’t know all the details, but they should know the truth. It won’t help if one parent is saying one thing while the other is saying another. If the divorce is amicable, perhaps the two of you can talk with your children. If not, then try to talk to them in separately. If you decide to do this, do not place the blame on the other parent. Never talk badly about each other. If you are bitter about your spouse, don’t make your children hate them either. Your children do not deserve the added pain.
The bottom line is, be honest about the situation. Your children have the right to know the truth. Answer their questions as honestly and as best as you could, no matter how painful it might be for you. Remain calm throughout.
Reassure your children that you love them. That they are not the reason for the divorce. Rather, it is also for their own sake that you are getting a divorce. Make them understand and feel that even with the divorce, you still love them very much.
Be optimistic and be patient. Your child are bound to complain about the situation (the moving, etc.). Understand that it is their way of coping. Just be there for them when they need you. They will adjust to the situation in time and they will eventually understand that the divorce was for the good of everyone in the family.
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