Saying No to Your Kids
As parents who adore their children, there might be times when you can’t say “no” to your children. But being good parents as well, you should know that you cannot always oblige each and every request. Some Otherwise, you’ll end up having spoiled brats who will cause you more headaches in the future. So how can you resist the temptation to say, “yes?”
Assess the request. Distinguish which ones are reasonable and which ones are not. If your children’s request are quite trivial and won’t do you or them any harm, then there can be no reason to not indulge them. For example, your four-year-old wants to splash around the lawn sprinklers on a hot Saturday afternoon. You have nothing to do and he is due for a bath soon anyway. So why not say, yes?
Explain. Help your children understand why you have to say no. Explain that you cannot buy them the new game console because the family is a little hard on cash and whatever you have is needed elsewhere.
Negotiate. Offer choices, substitutes, and other solutions if necessary. Instead of saying “no,” you can give them choices. “I can’t buy you the game console right now because we don’t have enough money. But if you want, you can try to save up for it.” Or, “We can’t watch movie Y because you are not old enough. But movies B, C, and D look interesting. You can pick from those.”
Be consistent. When you say no, mean it. Don’t lose your credibility as an authority figure when you say no and cave in to their whims later on. You don’t have to be stern. Be calm and explain your reasons. But be firm.
Listen. Even if you have the last word on it, it is important to validate children’s feelings. They need their side to be heard so be there for them.
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