Self reliance can be taught in stages, depending on the age of your child. As long as they are still legally considered dependent of you, it is still your job as parents, to make sure that they be independent and self-reliant when they finally leave home as adults.
Toddlers should be able to feed themselves. Give them a spoon and let them scoop food on their own. It can be a very messy meal, but this will teach your kid to learn new things on his own.
Pre-schoolers should be able to pick their own outfits and to dress themselves. The outfits can be mismatched or may even look ridiculous (you can only supervise them, making sure that what they will wear is weather appropriate), but the pride they will feel in accomplishing something is more important than having a fashion sense.
School-age children should be able to help out with household chores and to do their own homework and studying. They should also be taught to be responsible for what they own.
Young teens should be able to get part-time work, or an allowance, which they should learn how to manage. This will help buy the stuff they want with their own money.
Older teens should be able to maintain and manage their own bank account. They should also be able to pay their own bills.
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